Fathers and Their Place 2021

In the last months, we have walked alongside three fathers as they have met the end of their days.  We have been with families as they have decided to bring in hospice and embrace the new season of comfort care.  Every bit of what we have done has been mindful of the importance of those beloved men, those fathers.  And…

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The Historian and The Visionary

Older folks are often better “historians” than “visionaries”.   I first heard this concept when training to become certified in the Beyond Driving with Dignity (BDD) program for older drivers.  Matt Gurwell, founder of the BDD program, taught the importance of understanding this concept in relation to driving safety.   Mr. Gurwell had observed that older drivers can more accurately talk about…

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When Knives Are a Good Idea

People living with dementia are not children.  They have decades of experience and loads of muscle memory attached with the safe and effective use of tools such as knives.   Until the end stages of dementia where the movement part of the brain forgets how to work and how to help the body move, folks with dementia can likely still safely…

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Calling All Dogs!

“Greenies” on the countertop of an older woman who does not have a dog.  Yep.  It’s what we do. You see, our team has the privilege of walking very closely alongside our companions who are benefitting from our special and unique care.  Folks who are older than most of us, and most living with dementia.  We regularly coordinate and oversee…

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What Freedom Feels Like

Yesterday, my companion with dementia and I were driving to one of our favorite places: the local thrift store.  As we drove, she spontaneously erupted into singing the song, “The more we get together, together, together, the more we get together, the happier we will be.”  So, of course, I joined in.  We have sung this song together many times…

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Our Calm and Peaceable Selves

My mood becomes their mood.  Because of the diminishing ability to analyze, interpret, and decide what to do about information in the environment, my companions with dementia become “victim” to whatever mood I bring to their doorstep; whatever mood I possess during our time together. If I show up and bring with me my concern for what is going on…

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Our Friend Fred

Our friend Fred passed away this week.  He passed peacefully in his own room, in the home of his daughter and her husband.   We had the privilege of knowing him for just a few short months; of enjoying time with him talking about Nebraska, and Willa Cather, and the beef industry, and rare and collectible coins.  He gave us advice…

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Authors of Their Own Scripts

The more time I spend with my companions living with dementia, the more I get to watch them act out their own dementia script.  And when we give them this opportunity, we give them a gift. THIS is what good dementia care looks like.   The key is that they have to be living in an environment that understands their dementia;…

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