Two people have told me recently, “learning to get it right with dementia is like learning a new language.” If you have ever traveled to another country where the people speak a different language and you do not speak that language, you know the uneasy feeling and clumsy struggle of navigating your way. So it is with dementia until we…
I suppose there have been times when I have been running from something. For sure, there have been times when I have been running through something. But as I look back, I catch a glimmer of the hope I could not see but somehow felt. I started running when I was thirteen years old. My Dad was running to stay…
I have had the privilege of sharing zoom calls with three families in the last two weeks. Families who are moving beyond the stage of shock following their loved one’s diagnosis of dementia. Families for whom this is the first conversation with a healthcare professional and dementia specialist after receiving the diagnosis. Families who share, through their tears and their…
I have a friend who is eighty-eight years old. She has advanced dementia, and she has become my good friend. Recently, her doctor changed the dosage for her medication. Because she lacks the cognitive skills that would allow her to remember the details of the medication change (she is unable to remember or bring to mind which pill was changed…
"People are not limited so much by their illness as by their attitude to it. The illness may present physical challenges, but the emotional challenge is often far more important. Our human spirit may stumble as the path ahead appears too daunting, yet with support and encouragement, our resilience can be re-enabled and used to find creative solutions. We are…
Chimney Rock, one of the most famous and recognizable landmarks for pioneer travelers on the Oregon, California, and Mormon trails. A natural geologic formation, it became a symbol of the great western migration. My Grandmother’s headstone reads, “She Loved Life”. I never got the chance to ask her why she wanted that very statement on her headstone. She died with…
My good friends and I (they happen to be 91- and 97-year-old women who do not have dementia) have agreed that we either need to learn to keep our mouths shut, or we need to invest in duct tape. Each of us are Moms of adults kids, you see, and each of us love our kids so dearly that we…
Families often share, when speaking about their loved one with dementia, “He just won’t get up out his chair.” Or, “I can’t seem to get Mom out the door for a walk anymore.” When I suggest to my friend Lola that it is a beautiful day for a walk and that I wonder if she would like to join me,…
Last Sunday, I spoke with my friend Nan who lives in Houston. She is eighty-five years old and lives alone in the home she and her late husband moved into decades before. She is healthy of mind and body, except for a recent seizure that left her restricted from driving. Her two daughters live close, are attentive, and see her…
Current dementia care most often has “controlling (unpleasant) dementia behaviors” as its goal. But I would like to suggest that we can do better; that an approach of “managing the environment” is the right goal. Let me see if I can explain. When our approach is that of controlling dementia behaviors, it puts us in a position of responding to…
