Our Calm and Peaceable Selves

My mood becomes their mood.  Because of the diminishing ability to analyze, interpret, and decide what to do about information in the environment, my companions with dementia become “victim” to whatever mood I bring to their doorstep; whatever mood I possess during our time together. If I show up and bring with me my concern for what is going on…

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Our Friend Fred

Our friend Fred passed away this week.  He passed peacefully in his own room, in the home of his daughter and her husband.   We had the privilege of knowing him for just a few short months; of enjoying time with him talking about Nebraska, and Willa Cather, and the beef industry, and rare and collectible coins.  He gave us advice…

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Authors of Their Own Scripts

The more time I spend with my companions living with dementia, the more I get to watch them act out their own dementia script.  And when we give them this opportunity, we give them a gift. THIS is what good dementia care looks like.   The key is that they have to be living in an environment that understands their dementia;…

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When OK is Truly OK

I often say, “there is hope in dementia.”  And, “there can be beauty in dementia.” Because when we get it right with dementia, I’ve witnessed both.  In fact, some of the most profound experiences of my life have come when spending time with one of my companions with dementia. But dementia is still dementia.  It comes with unpredictability, struggle, and…

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A Tribute to Our Friend

Our good friend passed away March 15th.  A life well lived, and he finished well. We are honored to have shared moments of his life during his last couple of years; companions in outdoor recreation, enjoying volunteer service with Colorado Youth Outdoors,  simply being well in his own home when community outings became too uncomfortable.   We learned a great deal…

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Like Learning a New Language

Two people have told me recently, “learning to get it right with dementia is like learning a new language.” If you have ever traveled to another country where the people speak a different language and you do not speak that language, you know the uneasy feeling and clumsy struggle of navigating your way. So it is with dementia until we…

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A Running History

I suppose there have been times when I have been running from something.  For sure, there have been times when I have been running through something.  But as I look back, I catch a glimmer of the hope I could not see but somehow felt. I started running when I was thirteen years old.  My Dad was running to stay…

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The First Most Important Thing

I have had the privilege of sharing zoom calls with three families in the last two weeks.  Families who are moving beyond the stage of shock following their loved one’s diagnosis of dementia.  Families for whom this is the first conversation with a healthcare professional and dementia specialist after receiving the diagnosis.  Families who share, through their tears and their…

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