Someone Else’s Retirement
As the daughter of one of our companions said, “Everyone should have a chance to care for their parent; it can be beautiful and will change your life.”
As the daughter of one of our companions said, “Everyone should have a chance to care for their parent; it can be beautiful and will change your life.”
I will never regret this time of caring for my dad. I know that.
Living most of my time in my dad’s community has allowed me to hear many stories about the impactful ways my dad has influenced and brought quiet leadership, encouragement, and service to others. I knew my dad was involved in various community groups, but I did not know he made such a difference. I am grateful to have had such…
I remembered, “Oh yeah, he is responding positively to me joking with him and gently kidding him because that is how he so often related to me and my kids.” That was a fun revelation because now we smile and laugh when I act like him with my playful antics.
I coach and train a lot of families in how to care for their loved ones experiencing dementia using the DAWN Method. I always include the DAWN message that dementia is the season when expressing respect, admiration, and love are ways we give our loved ones a sense of well-being.
The DAWN Method taught us how to work with dementia; that when we honor and understand the life and rhythm and changing cognitive skills and changing emotional needs of someone experiencing dementia, we can avoid much of the stress and instead experience hope, beauty, and good.
Smell is a powerful sense that can evoke memories and emotions. Take your loved one to a candle shop and explore the various scents together. However, remember that some individuals with dementia may have lost their sense of smell. For those who have, focus on other sensory experiences.
I am grateful for the privilege of watching my dad get ready. It hurts my heart, but I know that when his time comes, he will be ready to be done with this life.
So this has surprised me: the fear and sadness that already grip my heart in waves as some part of me anticipates the day he draws his last breath.
It is a misunderstanding that we necessarily lose our loved ones to dementia before they die. We can keep a close, soul-to-soul relationship with our companions by memorizing their stories and being ready to share them back with them when they become unable to. Those stories often will include us as family and friends.