My Friend Carol

This is my beautiful friend Carol.  I have had the honor of being her friend for just a bit more than a year.   She is a remarkable woman.  A survivor, a Mom, a nurse, a musician.  A friend and a partner.  A protector and provider for animals in need of care. She loves to tell me the story of being…

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Setting the Stage for Aging Well

“Grapes of Wrath”  “Les Miserables” “Pirates of the Caribbean” Chances are that even before you watch the trailers for these movies, you already had in your mind an image of the setting, the stage, the background for each movie.   When you hear the words “aging well”, most of us have a mental image of what that process looks like.  We…

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When We Become the Dial

It’s no fun when our friends with dementia get upset and we aren’t able to help.  No fun for them especially, and no fun for us. They might get upset because they’ve heard a loud noise, or because their toenails are too long and painful and someone puts on their shoes, or because they all of a sudden can no…

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Caregiving by Stealth

Dire Straits.  Many will remember the British rock band by that name that became popular in the late 1970’s.  Others will be familiar with the term “dire straits” and know not only that it means “extreme distress”, but also know what it feels like to be in dire straits.  That level of distress is often what it takes for most…

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Father’s Day

On a hot Summer night in Lincoln, Nebraska, when the darkness had made the heat more bearable, I went for a run.  I was thirteen years old, and it was the first time I had ever run for the point of running.  My Dad was headed out for one of his usual runs that night, and he invited me along. …

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A Dose of Our Own Medicine

Giving someone a dose of their own medicine has its roots in the notion of revenge.  Turns out, though, that the process often has a deeper purpose: that of determining whether the offending person is capable of developing greater empathy for you, as seen in Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201901/should-you-give-someone-taste-their-own-medicine.   When we have the privilege of using and sharing the DAWN method…

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The Eraser At The End of the Pencil

I made a big mistake with one of my companions with dementia recently.  I made a decision that left them feeling uncomfortable, and insecure in my presence.  It wasn’t obvious at first, but their responses later in the week made it clear that my decision had eroded trust. It’s not the first time I’ve made mistakes when providing dementia care. …

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