Pressure isn’t helpful. This is a quick reminder to be gentle and sensitive when connecting with a spouse serving as the caregiver. Remember that if your loved one is experiencing dementia, they do not understand that they need help and most likely will not welcome this help. This is where caregiving by stealth is so important. Reach out for more…
Today we remembered our dear sweet Dorothy at the Catholic Mass and Memorial service that she planned herself. Today, we remembered her for the kind, loving, and the little-bit-of-fire lady that she was. Dorothy was ninety-nine and a half years old. She did not have dementia. In fact, she largely cared for her own needs until she became ill with…
In a conversation with a client’s daughter, she brought up the idea that this type of care really is using more of an offensive approach vs a defensive approach. I loved that analogy. Dementia has its own way, so we can not control the environment, but we can manage it. We can manage the environment in a dementia-supportive way so…
Adult children caregivers - tread lightly and sensitively! You only enter their lives as a caregiver when it is obvious that they need your help. But you are entering into a life they have lived independently for decades. We need to be cognizant of the routines & patterns they have and honor that sense of autonomy. We can care for…
This video is a quick reminder to be kind in situations that might be frustrating for you as a caregiver. Our friends experiencing dementia want to take good care of their surroundings and have good intentions in what they do, but often their diminishing cognitive skills get in the way. For example, they might leave a cupboard door hanging open…
When spending time with one of my companions experiencing dementia, it matters how I communicate with them. They are losing contact with the recent past as their memory skills are changing. So when preparing my greeting, I thought about how I could stay in the "moment of now." For example, she will not remember the weather over the past few…
My friend Joe called me a few weeks ago. He was on the way to his mom’s home in another state; on his way to sort through the long list of things he needed to do on her behalf, as her Power of Attorney and devoted son. He was calling to say thank you; thank you for encouraging him months…
We live our daily lives with a connection to what has happened before and anticipation of what will happen in the future. Those experiencing dementia have diminishing cognitive skills and lose this connection to the past & future. Therefore it is like they are living their lives one movie frame at a time. As their dementia progresses, they will experience…
The DAWN method taught me that with dementia, 3 primary skills are being lost, and 3 primary skills are being kept. Knowing this helps us understand the way a person experiencing dementia behaves. Two examples of this are: Losing memory skills - which means they can reminisce well about the past, but lose connection with what just happened. Diminishing rational…
The best gift we can give our companions with dementia is time, especially in conversations. When speaking with a companion experiencing dementia, don’t rush to fill the open space. Instead, be patient, watch them, and give them time to respond. Watch for a flicker of understanding that lets you know they are thinking and avoid the tendency to fill the…
