When was the last time you had an annoying tag in the back of your shirt?  You probably didn’t last long before you were looking for a pair of scissors to cut that tag right outta there, or asking someone to do it for you.  The pokes and tickles of a tag in the back of shirts are such an annoyance that shirt manufacturers have started making tags with ink; tags that are printed right onto the inside back of the shirt.  They’re smart.  And shirt-wearer friendly.  And I like those kinds of tags in the back of shirts.

But what if you are living with dementia and there is a tag in the back of your shirt that is driving you nuts and all you can do is try to tell someone to GET IT OUT but when you try to speak, your words don’t make sense?  Instead, you spend a good part of your day with that tickle or poke from that tag.  

And then we wonder why folks with dementia express frustration and other expressions we consider undesirable?!  

This is real stuff.  So simple, yet so important.  Because something as simple and annoying as a tag in the back of their shirt could make or break the experiences to be had for someone living with dementia.

But we can help.  If we know how.

I heard Judy Cornish, founder of the DAWN method, https://thedawnmethod.com/ speak about “relationship-centered care” recently, on Lori LaBey’s Alzheimer’s Speaks program, https://alzheimersspeaks.com/.  She spoke about how if we are doing dementia care correctly, it must be “relationship-based” because we must KNOW our people.  I agree. And with Dementia Friendly Communities of Northern Colorado, https://dementiafriendlycommunitiesnoco.org/, I am helping teach family care partners and professional caregivers what this looks like.

So if I know that someone living with dementia is sensitive to annoying tags in the backs of their shirts because I’ve taken the time to know that person, (often by asking family members about their loved one’s history, and preferences, likes and dislikes) then I know that everyone on the caregiving team needs to make sure there are no annoying tags in the back of their shirts.

Knowing our people.  Yes.  Knowing them, and relating to them in a way that matters to them.  Making their world feel safe and comfortable and secure.  Relationship-centered care.  It’s simple yet profound.  And it can be done.  Stay tuned for more strategies on how to get this right,