When I have the privilege of teaching folks about dementia, the goal is for them to learn about dementia so they can help their loved ones living with dementia.  But that’s only half of the goal.

The other half of the goal is so that the people on the team (care team, family team, etc.) of a person living with dementia will have the hope of surviving the process.  You see, I watch the struggle and heartache that a diagnosis of dementia brings.  I see how families painfully and gradually accept the reality of dementia, and how the cognitive changes caused by dementia begin to impact relationships.

So teaching about dementia (I’m so privileged and grateful to be training in the DAWN Method, and for Better People Care to be a DAWN Partner agency (https://thedawnmethod.com/find-a-dawn-caregiver/) is so important because dementia care is a 50/50.  50% of the equation is teaching how to get dementia right; 50% of the equation is helping Care Partners survive the process.  

It’s been my observation that when I bring this idea up in the Care Partner classes I teach with Cyndy Luzinski, founder of Dementia Friendly Communities of Northern Colorado (https://dementiafriendlycommunitiesnoco.org/living-with-dementia/programs-activities/for-care-partners/), eyes become wet and folks tune in.  Maybe it’s the first time they’ve had someone acknowledge their very important role, their very real self-giving investment, in the life of their loved one with dementia.  Maybe it’s another layer of accepting the future that includes the dementia journey.  Maybe it’s that they feel noticed.

Whatever the reason behind the wet eyes, my goal when teaching is to bring hope.  Hope that there are tools we can skillfully, compassionately use  to make dementia not all bad.  Hope that there are ways we can manage the environment so that our loved one with dementia feels secure and continues to enjoy their lives.  That as we enter into the “moment of now” where our loved one with dementia more frequently resides, and we bring beauty and richness into their moments, that we, too, enjoy these moments of beauty and richness.  

Dementia is indeed not all bad.  Before I knew how to get it right (I didn’t learn how to get dementia right in Occupational Therapy school), dementia was rough and unpleasant.  But thankfully, I’ve learned better, and have been astounded at how my time with my friends with dementia has changed my life.

So now I teach.  I teach so that more of us get dementia right, and so that Care Partners survive the process.  There is hope in dementia and I am honored to spread the word.

©Jill Couch