I have a question.  Or maybe it’s a couple of questions.  Questions that I’ve had since the world shut down due to Covid-19.  Questions that need to be asked, and discussed, before it’s too late.

You see, my friend Dottie turned 97 today.  I had the privilege of spending time with her because I am an Occupational Therapist; an “essential worker”, and so was allowed into her assisted living facility.  And even though we enjoyed our time together, she still said, “I wish I could be with my family today.”

The “powers that be” have decided for Dorothy that the only way she could see her family today was outside, six feet apart, with everyone wearing masks.  And, yes, that’s better than nothing, and better than what some of our older folks are experiencing, but the long hug Dottie and I shared before I left her facility let me know that what she really longed for was touch, and love, and connection with her family.  

So, a question: have we taken away the choice for our older folks in senior communities about how, and where, and with whom, they spend their time?

Would they choose to risk exposure to Covid-19 while enjoying doing what they wish and with whom?

And, has the decision to isolate our seniors been the right decision?

It’s been my observation while spending time with older folks that as their physical worlds narrow as they age, their intuitive skills and emotional worlds become far more important.  That as they begin “doing” less in their days, they are reminiscing more, and reliving memories, and longing for the connection with family and friends.  

So while the mandates of social isolation may have kept older folks safe physically, it has been profoundly detrimental to the emotional well-being of many….the well-being that at this stage of life seems to matter much more.

Dottie had tears in her eyes before I left her room this evening.  “I’d like to be with my family today; this might be my last birthday.”

But Dottie wasn’t given the choice.  And by her next birthday, it might be too late.

I do have ideas for how we should have handled this, what we should do now, and how to approach similar issues in the future.  Of course, we all hope that this kind of situation doesn’t happen again.  If it does, though, it should be handled very differently for our older folks.  But these ideas and solutions are for another day; or feel free to comment, or be in touch through our website.  And please know that I’m not the only one concerned; newspaper articles  are now surfacing about how isolation is affecting our older folks and those with dementia: https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2020/09/16/coronavirus-dementia-alzheimers-deaths/?arc404=true. 

Other professionals such as the Assistant Director of the Aging Clinic of the Rockies are relating how they are seeing a dramatic increase in depression and anxiety among older folks.  

So let’s re-think this, folks.  Before it’s too late. 

©Jill Couch