My Grandmother’s headstone, resting in the High Butte Cemetery where the sun rises over Chimney Rock reads, “She loved life”.  

My Grandmother grew up in a sod house in the panhandle of Western Nebraska on land that her father and his three brothers homesteaded.  I stand on this land now and wonder how they ever made sod “bricks” for their home.  And how deep they must have dug to find water.  And how brave they all must have been to venture west and make their lives.

My Grandmother loved riding into the hills on her horse, Silver, to check the cows and check the stock tanks for water.  She loved her family, and she loved this land.  

She and my Grandfather married in 1935.  They moved away for a brief time, but then returned to the same homestead to farm and ranch.  

The Grandmother I knew was full of life.  Happy, and kind, and she laughed easily.  “Gram”, as I called her, taught me how to can vegetables and jellies, and prepare fresh green beans.  She taught me how to make homemade pie crusts and how to be involved in community and be a friend.  She showed me what it looked like to be a good wife and mom, and kind hostess to visitors from near and far.

Years later, she was a widow living in an independent living facility in Scottsbluff, Nebraska.  I would visit often, bringing my growing brood of her great-grandchildren to enjoy time with “Gram”.  

It became evident that her memory was beginning to fade.  She was moved to the assisted living wing, and I began to grow increasingly concerned about Gram when I would call and she would not answer, and when I would visit and she would be sitting in her recliner.  Her decline continued, and she was moved to a skilled nursing facility.  

Her decline just did not seem right to me.  My observation was that she had far too much time in her recliner; with too little to do and too little human interaction.  And her fellow residents seemed to be experiencing the same.  

It hurt my heart deeply to watch Gram’s painful demise; to be helpless to reverse her cognitive and physical slide, and helpless to impact her living situation.  I am sure the staff of each of these facilities meant well, but I believed that the decline I was witnessing was not okay, that we could be doing a far better job preserving the life and happiness of older folks.  

I promised myself then that I would never allow the same miserable demise happen to someone I cared about.

A lot of life has taken place between the time of my Grandmother’s decline and today, when I am honored to have earned certification as a DAWN Dementia Care Trainer.  I earned a commission as an Officer in the United States Army Reserve with the designation of Distinguished Military Graduate and earned Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Occupational Therapy.  I spent time in volunteer leadership positions within the profession and within my community and served as adjunct instructor in the Occupational Therapy programs of two universities.  And I have raised four good kids; they make life worth it.  

And today, as a DAWN Dementia Care Specialist and Trainer, and founder and director of Better People Care LLC, I am enjoying the most rewarding season of my professional life.

When I have the privilege of stepping into the life of someone living with dementia, I use the tools of the DAWN Method, and quickly and consistently bring them a sense of security, and well-being.  I help them enjoy days that bring good reasons to get up out of their recliners while helping them be successful out and about in the community.  I let the world see that dementia is not defined by angry outbursts or people locked up in memory care units where they mindlessly and unhappily make their way through the day.  

When I have the privilege of giving even just glimpses of the DAWN method for family and friends of loved ones on the dementia journey, it is as if they get to take a deep breath for the first time in a really long time.  They see glimpses of hope that life is not over with dementia in the picture.

It was not always this way for me.  I did not learn how to get it right with dementia in Occupational Therapy school or any Occupational Therapy jobs in which I have worked.  

Now I enjoy the relief, the joy, the privilege of knowing how to get it right with dementia care.  And now as a DAWN Dementia Care Trainer, I hope to bring that relief, that joy, that hope, to more folks on the dementia journey.

My Grandmother is my inspiration, and it is in her honor that I lovingly carry out this work.

Grateful,

Jill

©Jill Couch