“People are not limited so much by their illness as by their attitude to it. The illness may present physical challenges, but the emotional challenge is often far more important. Our human spirit may stumble as the path ahead appears too daunting, yet with support and encouragement, our resilience can be re-enabled and used to find creative solutions. We are all individuals, and one person’s plan may not be a good fit for another who, outwardly at least, appears to be in a similar situation. Enabling people to be architects of their own solution is key to respecting their dignity. They are only in a new phase of life; they have not abdicated personhood.”
-Kathryn Mannix, “With the End in Mind”
Sarah might “spend time visiting with her family” who are represented by pictures in her home. Calvin might spend time puttering throughout his home, opening drawers and discovering the interesting things he finds there. Connie might rock in her glider while she and her four-legged, furry companions enjoy watching the birds out the window. Barney might enjoy sharing his favorite stories from his youth. And it is ok that I have heard the stories before; I know this is how I bring joy to his world…giving him the space to share these stories, and responding with sincere interest every single time.
To the outside world, this might look crazy or worthless. But I know better. I know that good dementia care means we manage the environment to give folks a dementia safe place in which to live out their dementia journey, “Enabling people to be the architects of their own solution.”
I know that good dementia care means we understand that “the emotional challenge (of dementia) is often far more important.” In senior care and dementia care, we get far too hung up on the notion of keeping people safe as meaning physically safe. And we dreadfully neglect emotional safety. But this is a really big topic for another day.
Good dementia care is very skilled work. Helping an environment become dementia safe is personal and complex for each person living with dementia. But alas, learning how to do this can be learned by anyone who wishes to get it right with dementia. The result of good dementia care means that we preserve the dignity, and personhood, of the person living with dementia. And if you are reading this blog, you may be a carer for someone with dementia. Take heart, when you get it right with dementia, your own dignity, personhood, and well-being are also preserved to a far higher level.
To quote Judy Cornish, founder of the DAWN Method, “We believe families can provide excellent dementia care at home”.
I am honored to walk alongside, not in front of, those living with dementia.
Jill
©Jill Couch
