Our good friend passed away March 15^th.  A life well lived, and he finished well.

We are honored to have shared moments of his life during his last couple of years; companions in outdoor recreation, enjoying volunteer service with Colorado Youth Outdoors,  simply being well in his own home when community outings became too uncomfortable.  

We learned a great deal from our friend; we learned what dignity and integrity look like.  And caring so very well for one’s family.  And being a man of justice and protecting others from harassment by those in positions of “authority”.  We learned what being a sportsman extraordinaire looks like; caring for the land and the animals and enjoying it all with friends and family.  

Our friend was an award-winning high school and college athlete.  He was an accomplished marksman.  He served in the United States Army and competed on their athletic and shooting teams.  He went on to provide for his family as a commercial airline pilot.  He transformed a run-down peach orchard into the “pride of all of Idaho” peach orchard…. I’m not surprised; he was just that kind of guy.

Our friend’s story also highlights the failures of our current healthcare system’s approach to dementia.  His story comes with the reality of incredibly difficult admissions in a local hospital and a local memory care facility; facilities that do not yet understand how to support dementia and the emotional needs it creates.  Facilities that inappropriately label folks with the diagnosis of “dementia with behavioral disturbance” when the real problem lies within the environment, not the behaviors.  

We were able to bring our friend security and well-being in our times with him.  Not 100% of the time; he still had dementia and still had some expressions of frustration and grief and loss that came with diminishing abilities.  But in those moments, we were fortunate to know how to enter with him into those moments of frustration and grief and loss, empathize in a dementia-aware way, and bring him back to a place of steady.   The DAWN Method taught us how, and we are grateful.

We had the privilege of teaching his family how to get it right with dementia, teaching them the DAWN Method also.  While having their husband and father at home was the opposite of easy, it was the far better option after walking with him through the disastrous memory care and hospital stays.  

They have survived this dementia process, for sure with some real heartache and exhaustion along the way, but they will be ok.  They can know that they loved their loved one…very well…to the very end.

We are honored to have been his friend, and to have enjoyed a bit of life with him along the way.  Even though dementia was a factor, our time with him was real, and it was rich.  Rest well, friend.  

Fondly,

Jill