I often say, “there is hope in dementia.”  And, “there can be beauty in dementia.”

Because when we get it right with dementia, I’ve witnessed both.  In fact, some of the most profound experiences of my life have come when spending time with one of my companions with dementia.

But dementia is still dementia.  It comes with unpredictability, struggle, and heartache.  It requires stamina and new learning, patience and noble acts of giving to help it be not all bad.

But I tell the families I have the privilege of teaching and coaching in dementia done right, “your loved one is OK.  Not great.  Not living life like they used to.  But they are OK.”

You see, when we get it right with dementia, our folks living with dementia can live with a sense of security and well-being.  They can enjoy a continued sense of value and sense of control over their lives; that their life still has meaning and a reason.  They can feel like their tomorrow is going to be ok, even when they have limited ability to understand the rational parts of what tomorrow means.  And when we have tended well to these emotional needs that become evident when dementia changes the brain, their physical self is ok too. 

Even though from an outsider’s perspective, the way a person with dementia is living may look completely bizarre, and may make no sense to those of us with healthy brains.  It may seem as though they move at a snail’s pace, or that they rarely move at all. But if we have used skillful dementia strategies like those outlined in the DAWN Method, we can create a world where our loved one with dementia lives ok.  And OK is truly OK when it comes to dementia.

So to those who love someone with dementia, take a deep breath.  Learn how to get it right with dementia, and then take another deep breath.  If your loved one is ok, they are likely truly ok.

With you,

Jill 

©Jill Couch