Older folks are often better “historians” than “visionaries”.  

I first heard this concept when training to become certified in the Beyond Driving with Dignity (BDD) program for older drivers.  Matt Gurwell, founder of the BDD program, taught the importance of understanding this concept in relation to driving safety.  

Mr. Gurwell had observed that older drivers can more accurately talk about their “history as a good driver” than make a correct assessment of their current physical and cognitive abilities, as well as how those abilities impact driving safety.  I have observed the same tendencies.  Folks say things like, “I can drive just fine; I’ve never had an accident in seventy years of driving.”  And while that is a wonderful driving history, it may not be an accurate reflection of the fact that this same person may now have mobility struggles, diminished memory, compromised breathing, sensory changes in their feet, etc.  

I see the same phenomenon with my companions living with dementia.  They remember, and love to share, about the deep past.  But understanding their diminishing cognitive skills and how this relates to their ability to manage their day to day, fades as dementia progresses.  

What does this mean for all of us, as family members, fellow humans, carers, health care professionals, neighbors? 

First of all, it means that if you know someone who is older, and especially someone who is living with dementia, give them the honor of letting them share their stories from the past.  Sit down close to them, take a deep breath, slow down your own thoughts (what I refer to as cognitive clutter), and listen.  Bring up those stories you know they like to tell.  Something like this, “Dad, I remember hearing you talk about that time you and the neighbor boy went to collect scrap metal for the war effort”, and then hope that they might continue on with the story.  If they tell the same stories over and over it lets you know those stories matter.  Memorize their stories; the day will come when they will not be able to recall and tell those stories, then you can tell those beloved stories to them.

Second, understand that your loved one may not be neurologically able to accurately perceive their current abilities, because the part of the brain that helps them be self-aware is failing.  So hold back your reactions of surprise or frustration or laughter when your loved one suggests that they can still drive, or still grocery shop, or still manage their home….even though they have not been able to do any of these things for a while.  In their minds, they are 100% able.  Folks will often share some sense that things are not quite right with their brain, and acknowledge that their body does not work as well as it used to, but it is difficult for them to accurately understand how these changes are affecting their ability to manage their life.  

Older folks are better historians than visionaries.  When we understand this, we help our world be a better place.  

Learning,

Jill

©Jill Couch