When our loved ones have dementia, we set the stage for positive mood, and we manage mood.

Mood management is the first tool in the DAWN Method….for good reason.  

Here are 10 tips to help get your interactions with your loved ones off on the right “mood” foot:

1.  When you step onto your loved one’s doorstep, take a deep breath.

2.  Imagine yourself taking your own worries, thoughts, concerns about your own life (the million things running through our minds constantly…what I refer to as cognitive clutter), putting those worries, etc. into a box, and place them on the doorstep.  I promise they will still be there when you exit your loved one’s door.   😊

3.  Put a smile on your face and unfurrow your brow and lower your forehead.  Relax your shoulders.

4.  Enter the home of your loved one

5.  With your smile still on your face, say, “Mom/Dad/Grandpa etc., it’s so nice to see you.”  Our natural habit is to say, “Hi Mom, how are you?”  Questions like this do not create positive mood, but letting someone feel your happiness at seeing them does create positive mood.

6.  Take another deep breath, and know that so far, so good, at setting the positive tone for your time with your loved one.

7.  If your loved one is sitting, sit down as soon as possible, close enough to your loved one that they can hear you well.  If you have packages in your hand, put them down then sit down right away. 

**What we are setting up here is an experience that lets your loved one feel and sense that you are happy to be there, and that your focus is on being with them/enjoying time with them.  THIS IS A MILLION TIMES MORE IMPORTANT THAN ACCOMPLISHING NEARLY ANY TASK WE NEED TO ACCOMPLISH FOR OUR LOVED ONES.  Task accomplishment will come, but we have to set the tone in a positive way for our time together first.

8.  If your loved one is standing, go near them, but keep your body at a 45-degree angle from their body.  For those who are losing their ability to understand and interpret things such as posture, our posture communicates a great deal and can set either a positive or negative tone for our time together.

9.  Make sure your loved one can hear you.  This means speak as loudly as needed for them to not have to say, “What?”  And speak slowly so they have some hope of keeping up with what you are saying.

10.  Follow The Dawn Method on social media.  The DAWN method regularly posts short, easy to read tips.

Our loved ones with dementia need and desire emotional connection and closeness with us.  The first step in setting the stage for that to happen is our approach and getting mood management right.  As our loved ones lose the ability to keep up with and manage their lives, we can help make life ok, and help dementia be not all bad.  It’s good for our loved ones with dementia, and for us. 

With you,

Jill

©Jill Couch