If we reduce our understanding of dementia to just an issue with memory or remembering facts, then we will not understand (and likely become frustrated or angry or worse) when our loved one walks outside on a bitterly cold day with only shorts and a short-sleeved shirt and no shoes.  We may become frustrated (and maybe think our loved one has become lazy) when they cannot seem to accomplish much anymore.  We will be very concerned when our loved one accuses the housekeepers of stealing their favorite cookies or their purse, or their family mementos.  

Dementia, as spelled out in the DAWN Method , is indeed an issue with diminishing memory and memory skills (the skill of recall), but ALSO an issue with diminishing rational thinking skills, and diminishing attention skills.  The academic and medical community refers to these skills as “executive function, or executive thinking skills”.   These are the very skills that make us human, that separate us from the other creatures that also inhabit our planet.

When we understand that our loved one can look at the thermometer outside their kitchen window and read that it says 100 degrees, but is losing the ability to analyze, interpret, and understand what 100 degrees means, and because the air conditioner is on inside their home (which warrants wearing a long sleeved shirt, long pants), it will make sense to us, then, when they step outside for a walk in those same long clothes on that same 100 degree day.  

The inability to compare and contrast temperature inside the home with temperature outside the home, and the inability to analyze this information and use good judgement to make a good decision about the information, makes it easy to see why it becomes increasingly difficult for our loved one to make a good decision about what to wear.  Understanding this allows us to take a deep breath, have compassion, and make sure that our loved one drinks plenty of water throughout the day (we’ll write about how we promote proper hydration with our loved ones with dementia another day).  We make sure that they have drinks with electrolytes available in their kitchen.  We make sure that if we get to walk with them, we bring water for both of us.  

In order to get it right with dementia, we must understand that it more than just an issue with memory.   Understanding the truth of what cognitive skills are changing makes it easier to understand why our folks with dementia do the things they do.  And when we understand, we are more compassionate, less frustrated, and our work as caregiver becomes just a little easier.  

Thank you for taking the time to read and learn,

Jill

©Jill Couch