My team and I have a lot of stories about times in our DAWN Dementia Specialist Care that we call “ninja”. The root of the word ninja is “to persevere, to conceal, and to move stealthily”, and that is exactly what we sometimes do…in order to preserve the dignity, autonomy, and self-respect of those we are fortunate to spend time with.
Our companions with dementia have lived decades of autonomous lives. Decades of making their own choices, decades of caring for themselves, decades of tending to their own well-being.
Dementia diminishes the very skills needed to continue making their own choices, caring for themselves, and tending to their own well-being. But people do not forget their decades of autonomous life.
And because most people with dementia have anosognosia, they truly do not, and will not understand how dementia is affecting their ability to manage their lives, which means that they do not and will not understand that they need help.
So, ninja, it is. Because we understand how cognitive skills are changing as a result of dementia, and because we understand anosognosia, we regularly move and behave in a stealthy manner to preserve the well-being of our companions.
An example: when it becomes clear that it is time for my companion with dementia to make a permanent move to the passenger seat, our time driving to their appointments becomes a time when I might say, “I remember you telling me about that time you and your brother encountered the mama moose and her calf.” Then I will pause because I am quite sure that my companion will begin to tell me more about that very story. And so we begin our reminiscing, where I have the privilege of leading my companion to tell me their favorite stories and memories. My “purpose” is providing transportation, but the caregiving-by-stealth/ninja gift I give my companion is that our time together ends up meeting their emotional needs to feel a sense of value, to enjoy social success, and to enjoy dementia-supportive sensory and social stimulation.
We are ninjas; and in this way, we give and receive the gifts of dementia care done well. Caregiving-by-stealth, even without anosognosia, is how we preserve dignity, autonomy, and self-respect through the dementia journey.
Honored,
Jill
