His was a true Horatio Alger story. From the wilds of Wyoming as a child and youth, to the opportunities available in Northern Colorado, he embraced hard work and built something impressive. And yet, he was humble and kind. He became a leader and a man of service, donating time and resources to community causes he believed in.
When we had the privilege of driving him to see one of his job sites, it was clear that his employees admired and respected him, that he had been good to them.
In his dementia journey, our friend continued trying to do what he had always done…take care of his home, take care of his business, and take care of his family. He just had changing ability to do it correctly, but his heart remained about caring for what and whom he loved.
I have yet to see someone experiencing dementia do tasks in their home out of a place of malicious intent; in fact, I observe that they are simply trying their best to do what they’ve always done. They are not trying to screw things up; they are not trying to make things harder for the rest of us. They are trying to help, without the skills to get it right.
Spending time with people experiencing dementia has taught me a great deal about the human spirit. Most humans retain the desire to feel valued, to have something of value to offer, to have a sense of control and autonomy, and dignity. To feel like they look their best and to feel whole and fully human.
The DAWN Method showed me how to help that happen, and boy, how grateful I am. There is no reason that people experiencing dementia or those who are older and frail cannot continue to experience good doses of what they still wish for, as I’ve described above. But our society has a long way to go in understanding how to get it right. Deep breath….
