We said our final goodbyes last Tuesday to our friend Terry. Our indomitable friend, who said the night before she breathed her last, “I think I’m getting stronger, girls”, as we worked to get her comfortable in her bed.
Just eight days before she passed away, we were out and about in the community, doing the things that mattered to her. She needed help, yes, but she was able to direct her own life, to have us take her where she wanted to go. And we were happy to help her life remain as full and rich as possible.
She was what the medical community would call “frail elderly”. She had been a valiant carer for her husband, Bob, who passed away last December from the effects of dementia. Together, they would help each other accommodate for their various challenges and they did a darn good job.
When it got to be too much, my team and I were honored to step in and provide the help they needed to successfully, safely, and comfortably remain in their own home. Bob died in his own bed, and Terry did too, just about nine months apart from one another.
Terry lived with cancer for over twenty years. She wanted so badly to beat it; but her cancer, and the effects from the latest treatments, were more than her little body could take.
We loved hearing her stories; the lovely December 1st day when she and Bob got married in 1956. How he taught her to ski. How they square danced and camped and fished in their retirement years. How much she loved her kids and grandkids.
She taught us how to make cabbage rolls. It was obvious that she had been a good cook, before struggles with her knees and shoulders made cooking pretty tough. She exposed us all to classic game shows like Hollywood Squares and the Match Game. We helped her grow flowers and tomatoes and hot peppers for her son in pots on her back patio. We kept the peanuts out for the blue jays and corn out for the squirrels so she could watch them from her kitchen window. We sometimes sat with her while she had her cancer treatments. We took her Christmas shopping last Christmas. We celebrated her birthday and some of ours at her home. We weeded her flower beds and helped them look like she liked them. We cared for her home and helped keep it clean like she would have done in her younger years.
As I write this, I see that we truly lived life with her. The night before she died, I told her that we all love her, and she said, “I know, I love you all too.”
It was an honor, dear indomitable friend, to live life with you, and to help you pass from this life right where you wanted to be…in your own bed, in your own home, surrounded by those you loved. Rest well, dear friend.
Sincerely,
Jill, Peggy, Sarah, Lisa, Alaina, Elisa, Breelynn, Rhonda, and John John the pup
