Our Brave Friend
When I heard our friend had breathed her last breath, the first words that came to my mind were, “She was brave.” I have never before described one of my companions experiencing dementia as “brave,” though all of them have been.
When I heard our friend had breathed her last breath, the first words that came to my mind were, “She was brave.” I have never before described one of my companions experiencing dementia as “brave,” though all of them have been.
Society may paint another picture, but spending time with people experiencing dementia is sacred work I get to do. The DAWN Method has taught me how to provide the right type of care in the right amounts.
thank you for guiding me through the DAWN Method program & reducing my stress level, making me more confident that I can successfully live a joyful, great life with Rich until the end.
Did you know? It was my grandmother’s heartbreaking journey with dementia that inspired me to learn how to get care “right” through the DAWN method. As I walk through this journey with my dad, I am even more convinced about the importance of keeping people in their homes. This is often best for the individual and their family, and there…
If you’re loved one experiencing dementia is doing things like you see in the pictures above, please understand that they are not doing that to make your life more difficult.They have diminishing attention skills, and something else draws their attention away. Check out the video for more thoughts. https://www.instagram.com/p/C6ZqhPeOTtG
This video was recorded 6 months before my friend drew her last breath. This is what it looks like when we allow people experiencing dementia to live in their own homes in a dementia, supportive environment. Listen, and be blessed. https://www.instagram.com/p/C6O-PSgupJf
when we get care right — the right type, the right amounts, at the right time — people, even those experiencing advanced dementia, can often live well in their own homes.
DAWN Method dementia supportive care is how we preserve the skill, ability, and, most importantly, well-being of folks experiencing dementia. DAWN dementia supportive care looks like us enjoying time with a person doing things that are meaningful and beautiful to them to bring personal sensory and social stimulation, and also tending to the practical and physical aspects of their life such…
When approaching a shower, I’d recommend:- Get the bathroom nice and warm for them.- Have multiple bath towels ready so that you can help them keep warm while drying off.- Additionally, it is easier to help dry off with a smaller hand towel vs a larger bath towel. https://www.instagram.com/p/C5RTpa5u1aq
Just like the child in the story, our companions with dementia would still feel the popping in their ears, but because of their changing cognitive skills, they may not be able to interpret what they are feeling correctly.
She served in the U.S. military before it was cool for women to serve in the military. She chose to be a vegetarian before that trend became trendy. She held onto her vibrant personality, zest for life, and active lifestyle as long as she could. She was known to hula hoop, just a few months before she drew her last…
Stories are so important. By remembering the stories my companions share, I can bring them joy and richness when they no longer remember, and I can share these stories with them. Sharing stories lowers stress for my companions. I can also accomplish this by sharing stories I’ve seen, read about, or encountered in my day. Check out the video for…
We had the privilege of living a bit of our lives alongside him, and we will miss those times. It was an honor to help him live well and finish well.
Origins healthcare providers are professional, prompt, relate well to our companions, and clearly understand excellence in healthcare. What a gift.
You see, just because someone's cognitive skills change due to dementia does not mean that they no longer enjoy humor. People enjoy laughing and sharing laughter with others. The issue is that they will need someone who knows how to draw them into enjoying humor, someone who understands that humor can bring smiles and laughs…for everyone.
Keeping track of the days of the week and the months of the year can be very important for some folks experiencing dementia. They might need our support in helping them feel like they are indeed keeping track.
In a society that is so intent on creating tolerance and understanding we have yet to do so with those who are experiencing cognitive changes.
People are often surprised when they hear that those experiencing dementia can continue to live in their own homes. With the right type of care presented in the right way at the right time, we can achieve this. I’d love to share more about what the DAWN method has taught me and how it has helped these individuals live a…
In our years of bringing her DAWN Dementia Specialist care, we skillfully and respectfully built the right kind of care, care that she would accept and come to value. It was a process, as anosognosia required delicate skill while we worked to preserve her strong sense of independence and autonomy.
It was our honor to know her. To support her and her family. To bring care that allowed her to remain in her own home, to draw her last breath in her home, surrounded by her family.
This holds true for people experiencing dementia as well. Much more than a solution for whatever might be causing them stress, people need empathy and someone willing to be with them. ♥️
We recently have had the privilege of walking through end-of-life care with several of our companions. I have been reminded of how different the end-of-life journey is when someone is experiencing dementia. With dementia, they do not necessarily have the cognitive ability to advocate for themselves as their ability to understand how they are feeling and what to do about…
If your companions experiencing dementia repeat the same stories over and over, remember this:
We have the ability to make a difference by simply noticing, taking time for, and genuinely engaging with our companions who are older or those who are experiencing dementia.
The DAWN Method taught me how to work with the changing cognitive skills of my companions with dementia. This method allows me to create a relaxing environment for both of us. One of my biggest takeaways is to slow down and meet their pace. Listen to the video for more! https://www.instagram.com/p/C0MymNtOMVV/
If you spend time with an individual experiencing dementia, do not talk about dementia in front of them. It does not help their sense of self-respect or well-being.
A practical tip for you! Research shows us that carbonated beverages do a great job of triggering the swallow reflex. If your companion often chokes when drinking liquids, try a carbonated beverage and see if it helps prevent the choking. https://www.instagram.com/p/CzW62ugupjE/
We don’t always have to come up with grand things to do with our companions who are experiencing dementia. Going somewhere as simple as the hardware store can create a rich place for sensory and social experiences. Even while some of their cognitive skills are diminishing, their brains still benefit from some stimulation! https://www.instagram.com/p/CzEjYg1OaS6/
I want to share this quick story on my recent experience preparing dinner with a companion with dementia! This companion may be experiencing cognitive change, but she can still maintain autonomy and independence in everyday tasks like cutting strawberries! https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cyn_HF2ulvm/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
The DAWN Method has taught me how to work WITH dementia. To create an atmosphere that preserves dignity, self-respect, a sense of autonomy, independence, control, and more for those experiencing cognitive change due to dementia.In this way, they can continue to feel like human beings with value and skill! For that, I am grateful! https://www.instagram.com/p/CygD407utOV/
A message of gratitude for our freedoms as we stand with those who are suffering in other countries. 💙
Our companions feel secure regardless of their changing abilities when we can create a secure and safe environment.
Join us for Living Well With Dementia: a Half Day of Learning! A dementia diagnosis brings fear and uncertainty. Hopelessness, chaos, and exhaustion are often part of the journey. Yet when we know how to work with dementia, we can be proactive and preserve the well-being of both the person living with it and their companions. Join us for a…
I’ve recently had the privilege of spending time with a gentleman who loves to cook but is also experiencing Parkinson’s and dementia. As I think about a plan of care, I would want to focus on helping him continue to cook because it is something he greatly enjoys. There will be changes, and it will be my job to accommodate…
Sharing my personal perspective today. My dad has dementia, but because I have set up a dementia-supportive and understanding environment, he will always know who I am. He has learned by experience that when I show up, he can trust me and share happy times. The DAWN method has created this safe space for us to share time together despite…
It is a topic that brings a lot of concern. Sometimes, the individual is still healthy, eating good meals, and taking care of themselves, but losing weight. This can be a natural part of dementia/aging for some people, becoming less interested in food and filling up more quickly. Listen to the video for more! Additionally, check out this great article…
The DAWN Method taught me and what I’ve observed to be true is that when people don’t have enough care, they will show signs of distress in their homes. Revealing to us they need more care! If they have too much care or the incorrect type of care, we will see them refuse the care! People accept it when we…
Our companions with dementia have lost some significant cognitive skills, but we can set the environment up to accommodate those losses and support their strengths. For example, one of my companions has a very important cognitive strength that he gets to live out with our help. He gets to enjoy the beauty of his life and specifically his backyard and…
A quick story about how what I learned with the DAWN method has helped me better understand the actions of my companions with dementia. What I have learned allows me to suggest things that improve their quality of life and adapt to their changing cognitive state. https://www.instagram.com/p/Ctjqva5gNZl/
The DAWN method taught me the sacred balance between safety and selfhood. I am so grateful to Judy Cornish and all that I have learned. In my experience with my companions with dementia, I have learned first-hand that full-time care is not always the answer. I have seen how the right care, in the right amounts, at the right time,…
“Thank you for your service, Sir.” He served in the United States Army, as a Field Artillery soldier. And he served for decades in the Colorado Parks and Wildlife, helping preserve wildlife and wild lands for people to enjoy for generations to come. In his later years, he took up painting and was good at it, too. He continued riding…
People who watch us interact with their loved ones can sometimes be surprised by how peaceful our interactions are. It looks peaceful because it is! The DAWN method taught us how to create a situation in which our companions feel safe and secure and in which we can bring well-being into their lives. If you want to learn more about…
She grew up in the North. The great Midwest, to be exact, but when her husband and kids settled in her husband’s native state of Louisiana, she embraced the genteel and gracious ways of the South. Her home felt like walking into a Southern Living magazine and caused you to enjoy a deep breath of peaceful style. She was a…
Consider the perspective of your parent who is the spouse-caregiver. This season of providing care may be a very meaningful time for them. When it is over, they are going o miss their spouse, and may even wonder what will come next. Allow them the value of serving in this way. https://www.instagram.com/p/Csrcvj9AynV/
I read the humorous quote above with my companion with dementia the other day. She has advanced dementia, yet we both laughed. In fact, she asked me to read it again, and we laughed a second time as well. I am well aware that my companion’s ability to understand words is changing. I am aware that her changing rational thinking…
We too are going to age, and with aging comes changes! Our elders have lived through a lot and they deserve respect, patience, and grace! Check out the video below! https://www.instagram.com/p/CsRZN2qg2Re/
Our companions experiencing dementia teach us so much, and we are grateful. Click on the link below for a glimpse into the beauty of the work we at Better People Care are privileged to do; using the tools of The DAWN Method to make the dementia journey ok. https://youtu.be/39LJ2AqE7RQ
Sharing today some thoughts around the idea of the length of our life vs quality of life. Check it out below! https://www.instagram.com/reel/Crbm-yZAZN3/
There is hope in the dementia journey. Our companions with dementia can still have a good quality of life and wellbeing even as their cognitive skills change. Even as they experience dementia, there is an opportunity for hope, beauty, and many sweet times together. This is where the DAWN method makes all the difference. Reach out for more information! https://www.instagram.com/p/CrLe1H2AFMw/
Sharing a quick personal story with you today! When visiting with our folks with dementia if we listen well for common phrases they say and use them back with them it resonates. We can memorize the rhythm of what they say and use it back with them to create deeper relationships and intimacy! https://www.instagram.com/p/CqvQFB0tWty/
Treating pain is important, especially for those experiencing dementia. As dementia progresses, they lose the ability to assess, interpret, and express their pain accurately. Instead, we might see this paid come out in other actions. It is never a bad idea to consider their pain and treat that pain as needed. Check out the video below! https://www.instagram.com/p/CqlRrgHgD6k/
Pressure isn’t helpful. This is a quick reminder to be gentle and sensitive when connecting with a spouse serving as the caregiver. Remember that if your loved one is experiencing dementia, they do not understand that they need help and most likely will not welcome this help. This is where caregiving by stealth is so important. Reach out for more…
In a conversation with a client’s daughter, she brought up the idea that this type of care really is using more of an offensive approach vs a defensive approach. I loved that analogy. Dementia has its own way, so we can not control the environment, but we can manage it. We can manage the environment in a dementia-supportive way so…
Adult children caregivers - tread lightly and sensitively! You only enter their lives as a caregiver when it is obvious that they need your help. But you are entering into a life they have lived independently for decades. We need to be cognizant of the routines & patterns they have and honor that sense of autonomy. We can care for…
This video is a quick reminder to be kind in situations that might be frustrating for you as a caregiver. Our friends experiencing dementia want to take good care of their surroundings and have good intentions in what they do, but often their diminishing cognitive skills get in the way. For example, they might leave a cupboard door hanging open…
When spending time with one of my companions experiencing dementia, it matters how I communicate with them. They are losing contact with the recent past as their memory skills are changing. So when preparing my greeting, I thought about how I could stay in the "moment of now." For example, she will not remember the weather over the past few…
My friend Joe called me a few weeks ago. He was on the way to his mom’s home in another state; on his way to sort through the long list of things he needed to do on her behalf, as her Power of Attorney and devoted son. He was calling to say thank you; thank you for encouraging him months…
We live our daily lives with a connection to what has happened before and anticipation of what will happen in the future. Those experiencing dementia have diminishing cognitive skills and lose this connection to the past & future. Therefore it is like they are living their lives one movie frame at a time. As their dementia progresses, they will experience…
The DAWN method taught me that with dementia, 3 primary skills are being lost, and 3 primary skills are being kept. Knowing this helps us understand the way a person experiencing dementia behaves. Two examples of this are: Losing memory skills - which means they can reminisce well about the past, but lose connection with what just happened. Diminishing rational…
The best gift we can give our companions with dementia is time, especially in conversations. When speaking with a companion experiencing dementia, don’t rush to fill the open space. Instead, be patient, watch them, and give them time to respond. Watch for a flicker of understanding that lets you know they are thinking and avoid the tendency to fill the…
The Dementia-Friendly Movement has helped society be more aware, kind, and friendly to those living with cognitive change. In a personal setting, like family, we must progress this from dementia friendly to dementia supportive. Through the DAWN Method, I learned 6 tools to meet the emotional needs of people living with dementia. Using these skills we can create and manage…
This week I had the opportunity to chat with Lori La Bey from www.AlzheimersSpeaks.com. We talked about the DAWN method and the difference it is making for so many folks with dementia. If you missed the interview you can listen here! After the interview, I received a text from a friend and loyal follower of the work we are doing here. He…
An encouragement for those working in healthcare!🩺 My experience in spending time with companions with dementia has given me some insight. Here's my advice: 1. From the first moment of your encounter, smile, eye contact, and greet them well. 2. Don’t start by asking questions when meeting someone with dementia. Cognitive change makes those questions difficult for them, challenging the…
Anosognosia is the “lack of ability to perceive the reality of one’s own condition.” (Healthline.com; Tim Jewell; 2/27/2019). Because of this, people with dementia have some awareness that things in their lives are changing, but they have no idea how their cognitive changes are impairing their ability to do daily tasks. Check out the video below. May we learn how…
In December I shared a blog on long-term care insurance, you can read that here. In continuing the conversation with an individual, we discussed how benefits can pay well but only if the person moves into a facility. Long-term care benefits do not pay well when someone remains in their home. But research shows us these people want to remain…
Why do I talk at a slower pace? The pace at which we talk to our companions with dementia matters. It is important to make good eye contact, speak slowly and clearly, speak loudly enough that they can hear you, and articulate well! Don’t forget the impact a gentle smile can have. 😀 They have not lost intellect, they just…
How did we learn to get it right? How did we learn to bring more comfort, peace, and beauty in dealing with Dementia? The DAWN Method. DAWN stands for the Dementia and Altimeter's Wellbeing Network. Check out this video to learn more! Resource mentioned: Caring for loved ones with dementia at home - the dementia roadmap. https://www.instagram.com/p/CmrtVUhjZFr/
In today's video blog, we're talking about how to follow the lead of our companions with Dementia. If they wish to be involved in something, join them, but follow their lead in the pace of how they do these activities. Matching their pace allows us to show them they are not alone. We get to be the calm presence that…
If you own an insurance company or are an insurance agent, and differ with my assessment of long-term care (LTC) insurance, I welcome a conversation. If you are an adult considering purchasing long-term care insurance, please reconsider. I’ll explain my reasons why in a bit. But most importantly, if you are a caregiver for a loved one who once did…
Check out today's video blog where I highlight how when we step into their lives with a list of things to accomplish, it can feel to them a bit like a tornado. Here's my recommendation on how we can care for them well! https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl4sUIrAsLF/
Here are some tips regarding stairs. Stairs: stairs are our friend (when we make them safe!). Stairs are an important way for people with dementia to move their bodies in ways that help their hips and legs and arms remain stronger and more capable. But, we must make stairs safe.
If you have read my blog posts for a while, you know that I wonder, and I ponder sometimes. I wonder while I spend time with those living with dementia. I ponder about society and how we are doing with caring for our elders. I wonder about our society’s thoughts about life, living, end of life, and end of living.…
A practical example of how we do "caregiving by stealth."
How do we speak about dementia with our loved ones who have dementia? The short answer: we don't. Check out this video for more info! Let me know if this was helpful and what other topics you'd love to have me cover! https://www.instagram.com/p/CkbzE3JgKxC/
Hope is the keyword in caregiving, and even through our own feelings, our highest purpose is to bring hope.
A friend of ours passed from this life recently, but in the brief time we had the privilege of bringing dementia specialist care for him while bringing respite and relief for his wife, we took note of his life.
Caregiving-by-stealth, even without anosognosia, is how we preserve dignity, autonomy, and self-respect through the dementia journey.
You may have read about our friend Sally, who passed away on July 31st of this year. She lived alone in her own home, until the final four days of her life, while she was actively dying. She had dementia and was fiercely independent. Our team had the privilege of helping her live life her way, and die her way. …
Dementia and Depression. A better way to care for our loved ones with dementia.
Most families are concerned that if their loved one with dementia drives, they might get lost. They know that their loved one’s memory is changing, and are concerned that they will forget where they are going and/or forget how to get home. Those are legitimate concerns because we know that one of the primary cognitive skills that change in dementia…
we focus on relating in a dementia-supportive way, on meeting their emotional needs using the tools of the DAWN Method, which means that folks get the real help they need, but in a way that does not undermine their dignity, autonomy, or self-respect.
Some people enter our lives and leave impressions that will remain. Sally was like that. She loved life. She loved people. She loved animals, yoga, walking, music, art, and color. She especially loved her precious family and her lifelong friends. My team and I had the privilege of knowing her in her final years when dementia made care and support…
Did you know that John Wayne’s real name was Marion Robert Morrison, or that Johnny Cash and Billy Graham were dear friends? We did not know this either until we became friends with Mr. J, who was a John Wayne aficionado and a Johnny Cash fan. Did you know that the Fort Collins/Loveland airport is home to AIMS Community College…
It can be a challenge to help our folks with dementia drink enough water. They may forget to drink, may believe they have taken in plenty of water and may refuse to drink when we encourage it. Most people would prefer to enjoy a drink of water, or a favorite beverage, with a companion. This, then, is the first and…
I recently had the privilege of teaching a few classes for the University of Nebraska Lifelong Learning Program. One class was about dementia, and how to get it right with dementia care, using the tools of the DAWN Method. My goal with the class was to bring hope, ideas, and real practical tools. And I did that. But I also…
Four years ago, I started Better People Care because I believed we could do better when caring for folks living with dementia. Recently we were selected by the Better Business Bureau to receive the Spark Award! The Spark award recognizes business leaders based on their character, the culture of the business they run, and the community they commit to support. …
I think this blog is more of a question than anything else. More of an invitation for readers, people, and society to ponder with me. When a car shows wear and tear, we repair what needs repairing, replace parts, and give it what it needs to keep working. When a car gets really old, we call it a classic; we…
There are many times in conversation when we say the word “no.” We are a fact-based, reality-oriented society, after all, so it is natural to say “no” when we need to correct someone or bring pure facts into our conversation. But the word “no” can become a barrier to a peaceable relationship when one of us has dementia. You see,…
We are not full-time caregivers. We acknowledge that at the end of our designated time with our companions with dementia, we go to our homes. We are for sure mindful of the demands, fatigue, grief, uncertainty, and mix of emotions that come with being a caregiver. We do our best to support caregivers equally as much as we support the…
For those of us with healthy brains, it is fun to anticipate having time with those we love. It is exciting to plan and organize and prepare for an upcoming vacation. Sometimes the excitement of anticipation ends up being every bit as thrilling as the actual event itself. We watch the world narrow for our loved ones with dementia, and…
When we understand that not all cognitive skills are lost with dementia, we can provide strength-based care. People with dementia retain three useful cognitive skills, their intuitive, learning by experience, and mindlessness skills. When we learn how to use them to their advantage, we can provide strength-based care. When we provide strength-based care, we are able to provide care that…
Our good friend Carol passed away this week, surrounded by friends and family. Her best friend and care partner loved her through the dementia journey, in their own home, until her last week of life when inpatient hospice was the way to help her be comfortable. Carol was a remarkable woman; an accomplished musician, a mom of six, one who…
Empathy is a cornerstone for how the Better People Care team gets it right with dementia care. Empathy-the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.Merriam-Webster Dictionary Extending empathy…
The folks we provide DAWN dementia specialist care to have lived at least six decades. Meaning they have cared for themselves, made independent decisions, and led their own lives well for a very long time. We understand, then, that rarely will they welcome the notion of “help.”In addition, most have anosognosia, where the part of the brain that gives people…
When I founded Better People Care LLC in 2018, I knew that I did not want to do the work alone. I wanted to work alongside others committed to the well-being of folks with dementia and their families.Now, I have the honor of leading a remarkable team of talented people.We are all trained in The DAWN Method approach to dementia…
A friend asked me recently, “how can you do that work when you have so many people die?”She is correct; my team and I regularly spend our workdays with folks who are living through their final season of life. And we often remain in their lives until they breathe their last. Since December 1 of 2020, four of the people…
Have you ever tried to help your loved one with dementia make sense of their finances? Ever tried to get them to see why they should stop driving? Tried to help them understand and accept why they need help in their home, with their home, and with managing their day-to-day? I spoke with a woman the other day. She is…
Getting it right with dementia is what I have the privilege of doing each day. But it is also very personal for me, and the heart behind my efforts on behalf of those living with dementia. I’ve written about my Grandmother before, in my blog titled, “She Loved Life”. In that blog, I spoke about what she meant to me,…
I was visiting with some new friends recently, most of whom have some idea of the work I do. One asked if I had worked the previous day, which happened to be a Sunday. I said, “Yes. And my friend (with dementia) and I went for three walks, and for a drive in the mountains, and out for lunch, and…
Whenever possible, expose your loved one to babies of all types. I have never seen a person experiencing dementia not smile or brighten up just a bit when they see babies of any kind.Look up pictures and videos of baby humans and animals, and sit and enjoy with them (incredible that we can improve our day by simply joining our…
I realized not long ago how the work I do now, using the DAWN Method to maximize the lives of my companions experiencing dementia, is the purest version of Occupational Therapy I've practiced in my extensive career. Occupational therapy is the art and science of "participation," a crucial tool in helping individuals fully engage in the "occupations (activities, tasks, jobs,…
The DAWN Method taught us how to work with dementia; that when we honor and understand the life and rhythm and changing cognitive skills and changing emotional needs of someone experiencing dementia, we can avoid much of the stress and instead experience hope, beauty, and good.
Smell is a powerful sense that can evoke memories and emotions. Take your loved one to a candle shop and explore the various scents together. However, remember that some individuals with dementia may have lost their sense of smell. For those who have, focus on other sensory experiences.
I am grateful for the privilege of watching my dad get ready. It hurts my heart, but I know that when his time comes, he will be ready to be done with this life.
So this has surprised me: the fear and sadness that already grip my heart in waves as some part of me anticipates the day he draws his last breath.
It is a misunderstanding that we necessarily lose our loved ones to dementia before they die. We can keep a close, soul-to-soul relationship with our companions by memorizing their stories and being ready to share them back with them when they become unable to. Those stories often will include us as family and friends.
The DAWN Method will teach you how to create an environment where it is possible to brush and floss teeth, trim fingernails and toenails, pluck chin hairs, get up close and personal with a companion with dementia, and not worry about being harmed by them.
Laughter is a powerful way to connect with your loved one. You might be surprised by how much they still understand—remember, they’re not losing intellect, just skill.
I was inspired to learn the DAWN Method because my heart suffered as I watched my dad’s mom, my beloved grandmother, go through her life-depleting journey to end-of-life without dementia specialist care.